The Worst Plane Ride of My Life

I was at my brothers apartment this last week because he got home from his deployment. Alec is in the Navy, I don’t think I have ever mentioned that before, good for him, right? Anyways, I am at his apartment and I am headed back to Florida so I get to the airport and check in. I am waiting at the gate and the flight attendant tells everyone our flight is overbooked and starts offering a voucher for anyone who will give up their seat. That voucher started at 500 then to 700 and ended at 1000 dollars. My biggest regret is not taking that voucher and getting off that plane.

I get on the plane and take my seat and realize the plane is super small. It’s a short flight from Virginia to Newark and then I have a connecting flight from Newark to Orlando (it’s counterintuitive but that is what they had). All of a sudden, about 45 minutes into the flight the air masks fall from the ceiling. The flight attendant sprints to the back of the plane and people begin screaming (the sprinting of the flight attendant was pretty alarming)

INTERJECTION: I want to interject here and say that this is not the first flight I have had the air masks come down and I thought was going to die. So what transpires next is not the work of a hero, I just have really bad luck so I know how to put the air masks on and know not to panic.

So this lady in the back is screaming “How do we put this on! What do we do!”, the woman sitting next to me is crying. I put my mask on, help the woman next to me and then yell “Un-click the thing and then strap it on!”. The woman behind me grabs my shoulder and tells me to put it on her daughter. Finally the pilot comes on the loud-speaker and tells us that they don’t know why they deployed and to just leave them to be safe. Still have no idea WHY any of this happened or what was going on. I just sat with my air and watched Star Wars because what are you supposed to do?

The plane lands everyone is shaken up and I am thinking “Wow so if I almost died on that flight I guess the next one will be fine”. WRONG. 

So I board my next flight. I am sitting next to a 7-year-old girl and her mom. I am seated in the window seat, child is in the middle, mom in the isle. About an hour into the flight the little girl is eating Pringles and pukes EVERYWHERE on the tray table. The mom is trying to sop it up with paper towels but it isn’t really working. I tell her to call a flight attendant but she is reluctant and tells me she can handle it. I tell her she cannot handle puke with a napkin, so she calls the flight attendant. The attendant gives her some wipes and a plastic bag and hands us each a napkin that smells like lavender in case the puke smell is making us sick. Plane lands about 40 minutes later and I accept the fact that, that was the worse flight of my life.

So there you have it folks, bask in the glory that my misfortune is not yours.

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